OnHINGEd: Introduction to the Series
2BD's Hinge Origin Story- villainous? Time will tell..
Okay, here it is: a series I romanticized writing from a park bench in New York City while living in LA (3 seasons deep into Sex & The City, but I digress). Now that I’ve officially moved to the Big Apple, it’s below freezing so while it’s not a park bench, my cozy local coffee shop will do and I’m finally sitting down to write it.
The WHY/ WHAT of 2B Determined
(2BD) seemed a fitting handle to explore this unknown territory of online dating and 2B also happens to be my flat number, so it’s meant 2B if you will (I apologize in advance the puns are truly endless). I refer to myself as “B” throughout the series and make sure to keep real names and date spots private. Nevertheless, I did come up with codenames and found a clever way to let you all into what these guys look like, shoutout to the free AI courtroom sketch generator…stay tuned.
This will not be the only 2BD series, I would love to start one where I rank bars/ restaurants based on the dates I go on. I also hope to eventually share some of my other writing, poetry, NYC recs, playlists, and tidbits related to pop culture in this Substack. Okay now I’m really getting ahead of myself, let me tell you
how this whole OnHINGEd concept came about.
As 2025’s New Year festivities came and went I floated the idea of wanting to start dating with my dear friend (let’s call her Larry) over dinner. I was never fully convinced about the online dating scene, I was stubborn, I wanted to meet someone “organically”, and worried that the gamification of it all would make it impossible to meet anyone worth a serious relationship. Not that a “long-term relationship” is my end goal here but time is precious in this city, you can’t be giving up your weekends for the average Joe. Or was that just another excuse I was telling myself? Frankly, this is one of the many excuses I used to talk myself out of downloading Hinge… what if no one likes my profile? Wait, but what if someone does like my profile? What if I saw my coworker on there (spoiler alert: I did)? What if I see my weird cousin on there? What if someone asks me out? What if I show up and they think I’m a catfish?What if they are 3 inches shorter than they said they were… you get my point. CUT TO- Larry, who after having endured one too many episodes of my dramatics has the patience of Prince Charles, told me ever so sweetly to get a fucking grip.
See, Larry is a Hinge guru.
“B. Listen to me, overthinking is not an option here,” she said nonchalantly as she scrolled through the chat with her date of the week. Her witty responses to these guys came as second nature to Larry, it was genuinely impressive. I took notes.
“Hinge is a numbers game,” she continued, now scrolling my Instagram to find the right photos for my profile.
The first thing Larry taught me about Hinge is that the more you get your reps in - respond, rinse, repeat, and don’t lose your wit, you can play the game and play it well. Hell, you can have fun doing and you may just meet the right person. She is constantly reminding me that it’s not that deep!!!
Moreover, being single women in our early 20s in New York City, what do we have to lose? Delicious food, wine, stories, and new places in the city to explore are surely to gain. Yes, other people have told me things along a similar vein but I honestly wasn’t ready to hear it. There is something to be said for the pure adrenaline and excitement of moving to a hustler’s city like New York that inherently tells you to fucking go for it. I soon began to trust that online dating could teach me a lot about myself along the way. Maybe I could accept that if the average Joe is well… average, it’s okay. If it didn’t work out, I put myself out there, went to a cool new spot, and could’ve even made a new friend. And hey, maybe average Joe took my Wednesday night, but not my Saturday.
So, here we are: OnHINGEd is born. A series where I seek to chronicle my dating journey from self-proclaimed Hinge hater to unashamed OnHINGEd dater with a YOLO mentality, encapsulated perfectly by @wittyidiot in the tweet below.
**Sidenote**— a text from my friend, Pheebs, in response to this tweet— “These boys fr need to treat it like a job interview…they be prepping 50x more for that,” No lies were told.
I hope these encounters, reflections, and the series as a whole may inspire some of you to pull the trigger on going on your first date or simply ease the pressure felt towards dating in the way it did for me. But, I certainly don’t have it all figured out just cause I’m a couple of dates in. I’m learning along the way, but if I have learned one thing already, it’s that these men are just as nervous as you (if not more) and when you have that epiphany, ZING!…when you realize you are a catch and your time is precious— it’s as liberating as taking off heels after a bad date with a guy who wore Air Force 1s.
Here’s an introduction to an AI courtroom sketch I referenced earlier. Myself, the Judge, presiding over the men of the OnHINGEd courtroom. You all are my witnesses of course.
Quick Disclaimer!
To be clear, I don’t just see this series as some ethnographic field study ~okay, maybe Margaret Mead just rolled her eyes~ but I do want to acknowledge these guys are real people and I intend to go on each of these dates with an open mindset like I could be meeting the love of my life, because why wouldn’t I be?
Lastly, HELLO and THANK YOU to my friends who listened to me ramble and encouraged me to start writing (Jessie J, you paved the way). Larry, this would not be possible without you, thank you for seizing my phone, making me a profile, and teaching me the tricks of the trade. Finally, WELCOME to those who happened to stumble across this post. I hope you stick around as I navigate these unchartered waters of the online dating space; the talking stage, harmless banter, “not interested” texts, drunk calls, awkward silences, my type in a guy, small world connections, date brainstorms…wait. Is this… excitement I’m feeling? Maybe.
We’ll talk soon, DATE 1 entry is in progress.
The next date? That’s 2B Determined.
:)
Wow B
Excited for the teaaa 😈